week 8 responds
Billy Oorbeek
Relational youth ministry
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Five years ago, my wife and Itook a parenting class at our church to better learn how to deal with the various disciplinary issues we were having with our five-year-old daughter.Through taking this class, we became very good friends with the instructor of the course.About two years ago I received a text from the instructor asking me if I would begin discipling her sixteen-year-old son and his two classmates.The decision to disciple these three young men changed my life.Over the last two years, the three boys and me would get together, play some basketball, get dinner and talk about life and the Bible.We are on a group text where we talk sports, school and scripture.Each of them has come to me with personal struggles (porn, sexual temptation, academic anxieties) that they were not comfortable going to their parents or youth pastor.Walking with them through their sin and sinful temptations has grown them closer to the Lord and has convicted me to get more involved with youth ministry.The wisdom and humility of their parents to reach out to me to disciple these boys has led to an everlasting bond that will last a lifetime.Yes, relational youth ministry through a coaching process is wise and biblical.
One strength of such a ministry includes allowing the student to have another voice they can listen too.This voice must echo both biblical truth and what their parents want to teach their children.One weakness is we cannot let this discipleship take place of the parents role in ministering to their children. As Jones states, any program the church runs must clearly train, involve and equip parents.[1]If thecoaching program does not do this, than it must not continue.
Of course, there must be guidelines for any coaching program the church begins.I had lunch with the fathers of the young men I was discipling to hear from them on what they wanted me to help teach their boys.I was not going to simply implement my worldview on their kids, but I wanted to echo what they were already teaching their boys.Any work the coach does with a student should reflect not only the Bible but also what the parents wants to teach their children (as long as its biblical).
Recruiting coaches to pour into our students is training our students to armor up (Ephesians 6) against the lies this culture will present to them.Parents and youth pastors cannot do this alone.We need to equip the entire community in this relational youth ministry.
[1]Timothy Paul Jones,Family Ministry Field Guide: How Your Church Can Equip Parents To Make Disciples,(Indianapolis, IN: Wesleyan Publishing House, 2011), 180.
John Muncy DB 8
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Every teenager needs a coach in their life that is not their parents. I have shared this before, but if you put a students parent in their small group, you will stifle the growth and vulnerability of that student. However, when that mentor is not a parent, there is an objective source outside of the students family who will tell them what they need to hear in a loving way. Having a mentor there to challenge them is so necessary, because as Dr. Wheeler says in the presentation from this week, These students want to be challenged.
[1]
In terms of weaknesses for having coaches in youth ministry, I cannot think of many if any. Perhaps the only one that comes to mind is the feeling that maybe some students will be left out because it is probably unrealistic for each student to be matched with a mentor, especially the less involved ones. However, the advantages are plenty. Students are equipped with an older, wiser person to give them counsel on some of the more important decisions that they make in their lives; they have a trusted adult that they can confide in about sins or mistakes that they had made; they have someone to hold them accountable, something that is unheard of among teenagers.
There should absolutely be guidelines involved in these relationships. For one, a student should be coached by an adult of the same sex, so no guy-girl mentoring, because that just looks weird. Another thing would be the places where the mentor and mentee meet. It should always be in a public place in order to protect the reputation of both people involved. I also believe the mentor should have a relationship with the mentees parents, that way if any dire concerns about the student come up, the mentor is only one phone call away.
Having a community is so much better than chasing after a cultural trend because it creates a family feel to a youth ministry. This is something that our youth ministry was striving towards before the coronavirus became so destructive. Having the family feel allows students to know that they are all rooting for each other and it is a picture of the Kingdom of God, where in Revelation 7 people of all different backgrounds are worshipping the one true God that saved them.
Word Count: 394
[1]
David Wheeler, Finishing Strong in Student Ministry,Liberty University Online Programs(May 23, 2012).
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