Part 2 – Describing Communication Patterns
Required Resources
Read/review the following resources for this activity:
Textbook: Review chapter(s) specific to your goal
Lesson
WEEK 2 CCG TEMPLATE ATTACHED BELOW
Introduction: Communication Change Challenge (CCC)
In Week 2 of your CCC, you will be laying the foundation and putting together a plan for the change you will implement in Week 3. The challenge you identified and had approved in 1E during Week 1 is the challenge that will be your focus for Weeks 2 and 3.
Note: The headings identified below and detailed on your template must be used to keep your submission organized.
Project Timeline
The following is a breakdown of what will be covered in each part of the project:
Due
Description
Week 1
Selecting a communication goal and conducting research
Week 2
Describing communication pattern, analyzing goal, and developing a plan
Week 3
Implementation of the plan and evaluation of your progress
Instructions
Before you try to repair the communication challenge identified in Week 1 Part 1E, you first need to identify a pattern and understand where the breakdown takes place. Consider your encounters over the last few weeks. When did this challenge occur? If you have selected as your challenge “keeping a calm voice when instructing my children,” then identify when you did not keep a calm voice. Next, identify your challenge as a behavioral pattern. Here is this challenge stated above as a behavioral goal, “I want to keep a calm voice when instructing my children.” Now it is your turn, write your behavioral challenge as a behavioral goal that begins with the phrase, “I want to….”
Next, put yourself in someone else’s shoes. . . someone who has the same communication challenge you identified in 1E in Week 1. Answer the following questions as if you were watching the challenge take place.
. What did that person do to escalate the communication challenge?
. What could that person have done to de-escalate the communication challenge?
. What must that person be saying and/or doing for me to say that he/she has achieved the communication goal that he or she shares with you?
Part 1: Identifying Patterns (2 pages)
Sometimes, stepping outside yourself and viewing the communication challenge objectively can help you to see trigger points and strategies more clearly. Now that you have had an opportunity to do that, brainstorm a minimum of three strategic steps that could be taken based on what you have learned thus far from the textbook. You will need to search through the textbook for specifics, and those specifics will need to be cited within this section using APA in-text citations.
Strategic Step 1:
Strategic Step 2:
Strategic Step 3:
Based on the three strategic steps you have identified above, now it is time to write out some declarative statements. Following each declarative statement, you will need to share what will help you and what will hinder you as you move toward reaching your own communication challenge goal.
Declaration 1: In order for me to achieve my goal of . . ., I will . . .
Declaration 2: In order for me to achieve my goal of . . ., I will . . .
Declaration 3: In order for me to achieve my goal of . . ., I will . . .
Remember to follow each declaration with a paragraph that provides further insight.
Part 2: Plan and Practice (1-2 pages)
Now that you have a clear goal and declarative statements, it is time to plan a rehearsal. A rehearsal can be helpful when you need to think through all the details needed for a production to go well. You are not putting on a play, but you are moving toward your event in Week 3 when you will apply all that you have been doing and learning. So, let’s consider what is needed for your rehearsal.
A covert rehearsal is an effective way of trying out new communication behaviors. Think about a time and place that will allow you to practice your new interpersonal communication skill to meet your goal as outlined in your new behaviors listed in Part 1 (above). By covertly rehearsing in your mind, you make it much more likely that you will perform the behavior comfortably and effectively in real life situations. For example, if you are planning to initiate and maintain a conversation with your neighbor, you should think through a number of possible topics and questions before finally choosing what you perceive to be the best options. In other words, think before you speak. Plan what you will say and do in a particular situation where you can practice your goal.
If you are having a hard time talking to people in your mind, speak to yourself out loud or speak to your reflection in the mirror. Think about the following:
. Identify the situation you would like to practice. Do you want to plan a new conversation, or replay a past situation but change the outcome?
. Where will you have this conversation in the kitchen, on the bus, in the cafeteria at lunch, at school in a classroom, in the board room, in your manager’s office, or at a friend’s house?
. Consider how your physical surroundings will affect your rehearsal.
. Consider the conversation: What would make it effective? What would need to change?
Now that you have thought through this conversation scenario, you are ready to select a communication event, related to your goal, for which you will prepare covertly. Choose a communication event that mirrors the communication goal you have selected, then you will begin to prepare for this event privately or secretly covertly. As you imagine yourself practicing your new skill, focus hard on specific interactions. Actually think about what you would say and how the other person might respond. Don’t just go through the motions. Really see yourself asking specific questions, making specific comments, and hearing the other person replying. As you imagine the sequence, apply principles you are learning so that you can practice precisely what you want to say and how you want to say it. Experiment with what appears to be the most effective and comfortable way for you to implement the new behaviors you have been learning.
Now it is time to do some writing. In this section, you will submit a detailed narrative that identifies your selected communication challenge and the potential plan you want to implement in Week 3. Include the following:
2A. Surroundings
Describe the potential surroundings specific room, physical surroundings and so forth. Include an explanation of how your physical surroundings might affect your plan negatively, positively, or both.
2B. People
Describe the people who will potentially participate in this communication event
What will be the elements of the conversation?
How might the other person respond?
What could go well?
What might derail your success in meeting your communication goal?
In a quiet place, begin thinking about the plan for your conversation event; consider how you would like to see it evolve. When you hit rough spots, try a variety of options until you find a response that pleases you. If you are having trouble with this, pretend you are an author planning to write the dialogue for a reality TV episode, or you are composing lines for characters in a play or movie or book. Use the mirror technique and take turns role-playing both people in the conversation. You can also use puppets, stuffed animals, socks on your hands, or different hats or coats to take the parts of two people having a conversation.
2C. Reflection
In a well-written paragraph, explain how your covert rehearsals helped to equip you for implementing your plan in Week 3.
Practice through the plan using different scenarios. In your imaginary practice, make sure that you are always aiming toward achieving your communication goal.
Writing Requirements (APA format)
Length: 3-4 pages
1-inch margins
Double spaced
12-point Times New Roman font
Title page
References page (textbook citation)
Week 2 CCC Template: Part 2 Describing Communication Patterns
Title Page
Part 1: Identifying Patterns
Strategic Step 1
(Paragraph with textbook references)
Strategic Step 2
(Paragraph with textbook references)
Strategic Step 3
(Paragraph with textbook references)
Declaration 1: (statement)
(What will help and/or hinder)
Declaration 2: (statement)
(What will help and/or hinder)
Declaration 3: (statement)
(What will help and/or hinder)
Part 2: Plan and Practice
2A. Surroundings
(Paragraph description)
2B. People
(Paragraphs describing the people and answering the questions)
2C. Reflection
(Paragraph explanation)
References
(In APA format) Running Head: Communication Goals Part 3 1
Communication Goals 3
Osondu Elekwachi
Chamberlain College of Nursing
SPCH 227: Interpersonal communication
Elizabeth Nelson
July 2020
Week 3 CCC: Part 2-3 Template
2A. Behavior Log Listing
Goal (from Part 1E): I dont know how to stop interrupting people when we are in an argument
Monday
Who? My wife (Fiona) and her younger sister (Toni)
What? My little daughters birthday party.
Where? At home
When? 4.00pm on the 7/20/2020
Why? It was Emilys and a few of her friends were invited for the party. Fiona and Tony were arguing on what clothes Emily should put on.
Circumstances? Fiona bought a dress that she wanted Emily to put on but Toni felt the weather was too hot for that dress and that Emily should put on a shorts and T-shirt because it will be easier for her to play with her friends in those
How? Fiona felt the dress was better because it was the little girls birthday, but Toni felt it was too hot and that Emily would not be able to play in that dress freely as she would like to. The argument went smoothly as they both listened to each others points without interrupting each other and that made it easy for them to come to a compromise.
Tuesday
Who? My group of four friends, Jerry, Nnamdi, Emmanuel and Okezie
What? Nigerian politicians and their politics
Where? At Nnamdis house patio
When? 8.00pm on the 07/27/2020
Why? Jerrys cousin in Nigeria is contesting for the governorship election of his state.
Circumstances? Nigerian politicians are very corrupt. Therefore, when Jerry informed the group that his cousin was contesting for the governorship position. The others were against him because they felt his cousin is a corrupt politician
How? They all got into an argument because Jerry was trying to tell the others that his cousin is an upright man and will do a lot to improve the lots of the poor people in the state. The others were telling him how corrupt his cousin and all the other politicians are corrupt and will simply pocket the money meant for the people. The argument went on with all of them interrupting each other and none of let the other make their point.
Wednesday
Who? Family meeting with Uncles and Aunts.
What? Burial arrangements for our sister
Where? My Uncles house in Vernon Hills
When? 11 am on 07/22/2020
Why? Our sister before her death had made a request that her body be flown back to Nigeria and buried if she died.
Circumstances? Most of us from the Igbo speaking part of Nigeria like to be buried in our home state. Our sister wanted the same and had told her children and our oldest uncle the same. Now she is dead, and the problem was if her body should be flown back to Nigeria or not.
How? The meeting was one of a series of meetings that the family has been having since she died. Our oldest uncle insisted that her body be flown back while some other family members believed that it was not feasible because of the covid 19 situation all over the world and also the financial implications of flying her body back home. The argument went on well and everyone could make their points without being interrupted. At the end of the meeting we all reached on an agreement to fly her body home.
Thursday
Who? My younger brother and my Mother
What? Shipment of things in a car to Nigeria
Where? Over the phone in my house
When? 7.30pm on the 7/23/2020
Why? My brothers girlfriend is shipping a car to Nigeria and my mother wanted my brother to buy somethings for her and put in the car.
Circumstances? My mother asked my brother to buy somethings for her and put in the car but my brother told her he couldnt put all the things she wanted in the car because the car was already filled up, but my mother insisted in him getting those things because she really needs them.
How? They got into a serious argument because my mother insisted that she needs those things and cant get them in Nigeria. They both kept interrupting each other and wouldnt let each other make their points. At the end of the day they could not come to an agreement especially because my mother did not want to understand that the car was already filled up.
Friday
Who? Emily, my 5-year-old youngest daughter and Felice, her 17-year-old older sister.
What? What to watch on TV
Where? In my Living room
When? 5.00 pm on the 7/24/2020
Why? Emily likes to watch videos on YouTube while Felice likes to watch shows on Netflix.
Circumstances? Felice wanted to watch her show on Netflix, but Emily was watching her usual You tube videos. But Emily has been watching these videos all day and everyone at home was actually tired of watching them. Felice took the remote and tried to change the channel.
How? They both got into an argument when Felice tried to change the channel, but Emily would not let her. Felice was trying to explain to Emily that she was tired of watching the kiddy videos and wanted to watch something else but Emily wouldnt have that. They both got into a serious argument with both of them yelling on each other and not listening to what the other was saying. I ended up sending them both to their rooms to go watch whatever they wanted to watch in their rooms.
Saturday
Who? My sister Stella who stays in Germany and I
What? Buying a present for my mother on her birthday
Where? Over the phone
When? 10 pm on the 7/25/2020
Why? My mothers birthday is at the end of August and my sister wanted us to put money together and buy her a present.
Circumstances? My mothers car is currently bad, and my sister felt that since her birthday was coming up soon, we should all put money together and buy her a new car. I felt the suggestion was too soon because her birthday is just a month away and so I dont think we can all come up with that type of money before her birthday.
How? We got into an argument because I kept trying to explain to her that the timing was too short. But she insisted that it was doable if we were all truly committed to it. We had a very good argument and I was surprised that we were not interrupting each other. I let her make her points and she let me make mine. At the end of the argument we agreed on buying the car.
Sunday
Who? My wife (Fiona) and our oldest daughter Felice
What? Felice wanted to go to the store to buy clothes with money she was paid from after school matters.
Where? At my house
When? 1.00 pm on 7/26/2020
Why? Felice wants to go spend her money in the store buying clothes, but Fiona will not let her
Circumstances? Felice was paid some money from a job she did at school, and she wanted to go spend it in a store buying new clothes. Fiona will not let her because she felt Felice had enough clothes and so should save her money for better things that might come up tomorrow. Fiona was trying to teach Felice the importance of saving money
How? They both got into an argument because Felice and her friends had planned on going to the store and she did not want to disappoint her friends. But Fiona argued that she had enough clothes and didnt need to spend any money she gets on buying clothes. The argument went on peacefully with both of them listening to each other and not interrupting each other.
2B. Behavior Log Review and Evaluation Most Effective
While observing these different groups of people and individuals, I learned that during their arguments, most of them were calm and patiently listened to each other and as a result, came to a very good. While those who had the same problem just like me were impatient and did not listen to each other. I learned that it was good to be patient and have a good listening habit when having an argument with others. That way you get to understand their own point of view and you also learn by listening patiently.
2C. Behavior Log Review and Evaluation Least Effective
The least effective was the communication amongst my friends. I only saw and learned the ineffectiveness of not being patient and listening to other people. I also realized that sometimes you might really have a good case in an argument, but because you did not listen to each other, you mess up your whole case.
2D. Behavior Log Review and Evaluation Recurring Communication
During this weeks observation, I realized how well other people had the patience to listen to others which I did not really have and I saw the good effects of that aspect of communication skills.
2E. Behavior Log Review and Evaluation Most Pressing Behavior
After this weeks observation, I believe my greatest communication problem is still the one listed as my goal, which is I dont know how to stop interrupting people when we are in an argument. However, I did realize that I had made some progress at improving on this problem. I had a conversation with my sister and I was patient enough to listen to her points without interrupting her.
3A. Positive Role Models
Example 3A1
What do they say? They talked about what dress my little daughter would put on for her birthday. My wife (Fiona) said she should put on the dress we bought originally for the birthday. My wifes sister (Toni), said she should put on a simple pant and T-shirt.
How do they say it? They both said their points in a calm way without yelling on each other or interrupting each other.
How did listening help you to understand the positive model? Listening to both of them have a simple calm argument with out interrupting each other and making their points clearly, made me understand how being patient had a positive effect in my communication skills.
What behaviors would be useful to incorporate into your own repertoire? Their behavior of listening to each other with out interrupting each other is good for me because it will improve my communication skills when in an argument with an individual or a group of individuals.
Example 3A2
What do they say? They argued about whether to fly the body home or not. My uncle said the body should be flown home because this was the last request of this lady but some others in the meeting said it was too expensive and not possible based on the corona virus situation.
How did they say it? My uncle said it in a calm voice, and he was not interrupted when he was making his point. One of my aunties in the meeting said her own view in a calm voice without being interrupted by my uncle or any of the other people who were on the on the other side of the argument.
How did listening help you to understand the positive model? Listening to both parties on both sides of the argument talk and pass their point across in a calm way without being interrupted or interrupting others, made me understand how being patient had a positive effect in my communication skills.
What behaviors would be useful to incorporate into your own repertoire? Their behavior of listening to each other without interrupting each other is good for me because it will improve my communication skills when in an argument with an individual or a group of individuals.
Example 3A3
What do they say? My sister said we should contribute money to buy our mother a car as a birthday present, while I said it was too soon and that we dont have enough time to put the money together.
How did they say it? We both talked in a calm way and both listened to each other with out interrupting each other during the argument.
How did listening help you to understand the positive model? Observing myself listen to my sister talk with interrupting her really made me happy because I now realized that I could achieve this communication skill if I work on it.
What behaviors would be useful to incorporate into your own repertoire? The behavior of my sister and I not interrupting each other in an argument to me was very encouraging to me and is something I should incorporate in my own repertoire.
Example 3A4
What do they say? Felice said she wanted to buy new clothes, but the mother said no, instead she should save her money.
How did they say it? The argument was quite peaceful and they both listened to each other in a calm way without interrupting each other
How did listening help you to understand the positive model? Listening to both of them have a simple calm argument without interrupting each other and making their points clearly, made me understand how being patient had a positive effect in my communication skills.
What behaviors would be useful to incorporate into your own repertoire? Their behavior of listening to each other with out interrupting each other is good for me because it will improve my communication skills when in an argument with an individual or a group of individuals.
3B. Negative Role Models
Example 3B1
What makes them ineffective verbally? They were talking all at the same time, interrupting each other and not listening to what the other was saying.
What makes them ineffective nonverbally? Their yelling at each other and standing over each other so they can be heard was really ineffective.
How did listening make this a negative model? Listening to them talk and seeing that they were not communicating effectively with each other made it a negative role model.
What behavior do these people exhibit that you would like to avoid? I would like to avoid not listening to each other and the constant interruption of one another. As a group, there are different people, and everyone has something to add to the conversation, but you can only know this if you listen to each other.
Example 3B2
What makes them ineffective verbally? Felice and her younger sister Emily were talking to each other at the same time and not listening to each other and that made them verbally ineffective.
What makes them ineffective nonverbally? They were both struggling for the control of the Tv remote control and yelling at each other at the same time
How did listening make this a negative model? Listening to them talk and seeing that they were not communicating effectively with each other made it a negative role model.
What behavior do these people exhibit that you would like to avoid? I would like to avoid not listening to each other and the constant interruption of one another. They are sisters and by listening to each other could have solved their problems faster.
Example 3B3
What makes them ineffective verbally? My mother and my younger brother were talking to each other at the same time, kept interrupting each other and not listening to each other and that made them verbally ineffective.
What makes them ineffective nonverbally? They were both talking yelling at each other.
How did listening make this a negative model? Listening to them talk and seeing that they were not communicating effectively with each other made it a negative role model.
What behavior do these people exhibit that you would like to avoid? I would like to avoid not listening to each other and the constant interruption of one another. My brother should have listened first to what my mother was saying and then tried to make his own point. Running Head: 1
Week 4 CCC
Osondu Elekwachi
Chamberlain College of Nursing
SPCH 227: Interpersonal communication
Elizabeth Nelson
July 2020
Week 5 CCC: Parts 5 & 6 Template
Recap of 4E
Final Goal (Updated Goal from 4A): My goal for this project remains as it is from the beginning which is I want to learn how to stop interrupting people when we are in an argument
5A. Covert Rehearsal
For My covert rehearsal, I will use a situation similar to one that I have described in one of my earlier assignments. The communication event will take place on Wednesday, August 13, 2020. I will just have gotten home from a long day of work and will be sitting on the sofa in my living room watching the news network CNN. It is around 7pm. My wife will be in the kitchen cooking dinner for the family. My wife Fiona will walk up to me from the kitchen and sit down beside me on the couch in the living room. and tell me that Gabby, our second daughter has a birthday party to attend. I will say okay. Then she will say that they will be going to the store to buy an outfit for her to wear for the party. I said no that I dont have money for that. She will say Gabby wants to buy the outfit with her money that was given to her during her graduation. At that point, I will pick up the TV remote and turn the volume down. I will then turn on my chair facing her, and I will say its still no because Gabby has enough clothes to choose from and I want them to learn how to save money. Fiona will say no and try to explain why Gabby needs a new outfit, While she was trying to explain this, I will be tempted to interrupt her, but I will remember I am working on my goal and will let her finish her explanation. I will be patient and listen to her all through her explanation. At the end of her explanation, I will see understand her reason and I will agree with her.
5B. Covert Practice
I will walk into my house through the back door. Drop my car keys on the kitchen counter. My wife Fiona will be standing over the stove there in the kitchen making steak, and she will say Hey Babe. I will say hey. I will then open refrigerator door and take out a bottle of beer, walk past her, and into the living room. My living room has three couches, I will sit on one side of the three-sitter couch. Pick up the TV remote and put on the TV, then turn it to the news channel CNN then start sipping my beer. My wife will walk into the living room and sit beside me on the three-sitter couch. Then the conversation will go this way:
Wife: Babe, I want to talk to you about something.
Me: Okay babe, what is it?
Wife: Gabby has a birthday party of one of her friends to attend.
Me: Oh okay, so what day is the party and where is it taking place
Wife, I am not sure yet, will talk to her friends mother.
ME: Okay.
Wife: She wants a new outfit and so we will be going to the store tomorrow to get her a new outfit.
ME: Really? Why does she need a new outfit, she has enough. Let her just choose from one of her clothes, because I dont have money to buy her a new outfit.
Wife: Oh, thats okay, she has some money. Uncle James and Dion gave her some money during her graduation party, she wants to buy the outfit with that.
Me: What? We have had this conversation before, and I told you that we should start teaching them how to save money. They cant just keep spending money they get on unimportant things. And as I said she has a lot of clothes, so she dont need a new one.
Wife: Yes, she does need a new one.
Me: why? (in a raised voice). What happened to all her clothes.
Wife: Its summer and its hot outside and she has outgrown all her shorts. So she needs a new one.
ME: She should cut one of her jean pants to shorts.
Wife: Babe, its a birthday party and all her friends will be looking good and you want her to just cut a pant and put on. All her friends will be there with new outfits, so why make her look different and feel bad about herself.
Me: Okay, but just this once.
5C. Reflection
When I prepared for this situation, I was a little wary about the whole idea. I took the time to practice my responses and channel how to stay calm throughout the situation and how to be patient and listen to someone without interrupting. The practice really helped me because I thought about all types of responses, I could give that didnt not sound like me interrupting her. I utilized the behaviors I created by trying to practice listening without interrupting especially raising my voice while responding. This experience makes me understand and realize that I can actually listen to someone while involved in an argument without interrupting them. And by listening, I will learn and understand their own point of view.
6A. Shared Behavior Rehearsal
I practiced my situation many times with a variety of individuals that were not involved. I noticed my peers provided me different scenarios and different responses. But after all the different trials, my friend Jerry was my best choice for a role partner because he and I are always arguing and he is aware of my problem and also because he knows my wife very well and so can talk a little bit like her. He found different ways to respond to my part of the conversation. He tried so many ways to stimulate an interruption from me. He gave me a better understanding on what my thoughts and actions looked like. He sought out any of my flaws that I had stated I did not want to act like. This helped me work on my tone as well as staying calm and listening. As I rehearsed through the situations, I was able to stay calm and really listen to someone without interrupting them. I feel very satisfied and I believe I was successful about the behavior techniques.
6B. Reflection on Observations and Reactions
I chose my friend Jerry as my role partner because he has been my friend for a very long time. We have known each other for over thirty years, we went to college in Nigeria together. He also my wife for a very long time and this one major factor that made me choose him because I feel he knows my wife and to some extent knows how she will react in certain situations. He and I have seen each other during our rough times as well as happy situations. He knows about the situation being role played because he and I argue a lot and he has told me several times that I do not listen to him talk and that I am always interrupting him. My wife Fiona knows him very well too. When I brought this scenario up to him, he had prior knowledge about it because Fiona has complained to him about this so many times. I found Jerry to be great at providing a different perspective for my thoughts and responses. I would trust Jerry with many things, and I do believe he would only look out for me in my best interest.
6C. Reflection on Planning
My shared behavioral experience went much better than I thought. I think it went so well because Mariah was very much involved and sincere while we did our role playing. I was very nervous leading up to this rehearsal because this is a problem I have heard most of my life and didnt know how it will play out. I felt much better after this rehearsal, as though a weight had been lifted off of my shoulders because I could actually have an argument with some without interrupting them. The best part of this exercise for me was that I could actually stay calm and listen to another person make their own point.Listening, at its best, is active, focused, concentrated attention for the purpose of understanding the meanings expressed by a speaker (Wrench, 2014). I feel like I am now ready to get involved in more real arguments and see if I can actually keep this up.
Reference:
Wrench, J. S. (2014). The Importance of Listening in Effective Communication. Brewminate
Retrieved from https://brewminate.com/the-importance-of-listening-in-effective-
communication/ Running Head: Communication goals 1
