ENG 1252 MOD 4 FINAL
I need revised
Mathis 1
Ricardo Mathis Comment by Windows User: In the future, Id recommend removing personal information from your essay before submitting it to Tutor.com. That way, your information will remain secure.
ENG 1252
08/15/2020
How
and when children to be taught about puberty and sex
Comment by Windows User: For MLA format, you dont need to bold and underline the paper title, but you do need to capitalize it. Also, date should be given in day-month-year format (e.g. 15 August 2020) and paragraphs should have their first line indented .5 inches.
Education on sex is crucial to children. It helps in preventing the unwanted and teenage pregnancies and also helps in mitigating the sex-related riskssex education help in providing the children with skills of proper sexual behaviors. However, most parents are afraid of giving their children this education. The parents find it critical to provide this education, and they wait until this is introduced in lower primary schools. Most countries in the world have introduced this in their education system. The critical question remains when to present this. Many have argued that sex education should be submitted at an early age, while others say that it should be introduced at a later age. In a real sense, sex education should be presented at an earlier age. Comment by Windows User: You dont need a the here for unwanted teenage pregnancies in general; you also dont really need an and unless you want to separate unwanted pregnancies and teenage pregnancies as different things. Comment by Windows User: No need for a the here either. Comment by Windows User: If they find it to be important, why would this cause them to wait? Comment by Windows User: Good definite claim for the thesis statement.
(“When To Start Sex Education? Are You Too Early? Or Late?”) Comment by Windows User: Parenthetical citation should go before the period of a sentence. However, what information in this paragraph are you citing? I would put it directly after the information from the source.
Parents find it challenging to discuss puberty and sex with their children, and for this reason, it ends up resulting in sex-related risks. The parents find it uncomfortable when they are enquired about puberty and sex. Children are curious about changes in their bodies and have several questions on why they are boys or girls. The difference between boys and girls. However, it is essential to discuss these topics with children at a tender age. The discussion enables one to realize his or herself in life. The male gender grows knowing they are male while the female gender grows, knowing they are female. The realization helps one to improve knowing their particular role in their society. This entire essay will discuss when the right time to introduce sex and puberty education to our childrenthe consequences of early or late introduction. (“Aboutkidshealth”) Comment by Windows User: What does it stand for here? Comment by Windows User: I would just say askedpeople are not generally an object of enquire. Comment by Windows User: Sentence fragmentno verb. Either add a verb or combine it with another sentence. Comment by Windows User: You indicate a contrast here with however, but the need to discuss these topics does not contrast with the previous two sentences about children being curious. I would rephrase. Comment by Windows User: Do you need an article here? Is discussion general or specific? Comment by Windows User: gender is not a word used for a person or group of people, but for the category of people. I would use a different word herepossibly just men or women, or girls or boys. Comment by Windows User: While it makes sense to discuss what it means to be male or female, how would you say discussing sex or puberty specifically will help a child think about their role in society? I might go into more detail here. Comment by Windows User: This feels like a reiteration of your thesis statement, but it is not necessary hereyouve already made your claim, and restating the thesis does not flow well at this point in this paragraph. I might cut this sentence.
With the development of technology, most children are exposed to so much information about sex and puberty. The information is gotten from the internet, TV, and other sources. Some of the sources are not reliable, and they can mislead the children. For this reason, sex and puberty education needs to introduced by parents at a tender age. It is the responsibility of the parents both the mother and the father to teach their children on the changes in their bodies as they grow. The father should be very close to the boy child, and the mother should be very close to the girl child. Education should be introduced at a tender age. No, at any given time, these children will go to their parents to discuss changes in their bodies, especially when they find this uncomfortable. The children should be taught the following changes in their bodies or expect the following changes as they grow up. Comment by Windows User: Is an article necessary here? Comment by Windows User: Parenthetical phraseshould have a comma before and after it. Comment by Windows User: I might explain why in particular you advise this. Comment by Windows User: these indicates a specific group, as does the in the next sentence. Are you speaking about specific children, or children in general?
Their bodies will start to produce estrogen, which will result in the bigger breast. Also, this will make the fallopian tubes and vigina to grow. Children should be taught this in new changes to avoid lo self-esteem when these changes occur. Comment by Windows User: Spelling error. Comment by Windows User: Spelling error.
At this stage, the estrogen and progesterone produced by the bodies will control the menstrual cycle. If this education is not given earlier enough, most girls tend to lower self-esteem. Comment by Windows User: These changes mentioned here will occur primarily to girlsI might make this clear, as here you seem to refer to all children.
With these children experiencing these signs, they need to understand what is happening. The educations can be given in school. The government should introduce sex and relationship education in the school curriculum. These kids should be aware of this at the primary school level before they join secondary school. Some people argue that sex and puberty education among children encourages early sexual behaviors among teenagers. Researchers have found that there is no evidence of such a manner. Comment by Windows User: education is not generally put in plural form, as it describes an abstract concept. Comment by Windows User: I would add a phrase to indicate a contradiction here (e.g. however). Comment by Windows User: Ive stopped noting it every time I see it, but look over this paragraph for where you say the and these, and check if you are referring to specific children/education etc or to kids/education etc in general.
Teenagers who have enough sex education are more likely to have safe sex for the first time than those who have little sex education. In our society, they can organize groups of the same age where they will be taught about puberty and sex. In these forums, boys will understand why they are men and their responsibilities in the future. There is no age set for this education, and it is the parents to decide on the age at which they will start educating their children. It is advisable to start this education at a tender age. (“Talking To Primary School Children About Sex”) When teaching this, parents can do the following; Comment by Windows User: Who do you mean by they here? Comment by Windows User: You refer to how this education will affect men, but not how it will affect women. I would recommend mentioning both. Comment by Windows User: Id use a colon before a list rather than a semicolon.
The parents should get access to teaching materials from the school;
Parents should know what to teach and at what age. Understanding the child’s age is better because you will only teach him/ her what to know at that particular time.
Parents should explain things at a time. For example, most children are more curious about knowing where the baby comes from and the pregnancies more than they are curious about the act of sex. No child will ask about the act of sex, but instead, they will ask about where they originated. (“How To Talk To Kids About Sex: An Age-By-Age Guide“)
Most countries have tried to introduce sex education in primary schools. For instance, in Kenya, the controversial bill dubbed “reproductive bill” was suspended by the senate parliament, as many claimed it would increase teenage pregnancies. However, this was not the case because early education will increase realization among teenagers. However, this is not a guarantee because the UK introduced sex education for the last 30 years. They record the highest number of teenage pregnancies in West Europe. Comment by Windows User: What do you mean by realization here? Comment by Windows User: I would make it clear that you are suggesting these facts are connected or correlated using a transitional phrase or merging the two sentences.
Parents should embrace this sex education at an early age as they come with plenty of advantages. HIV and STI’s are prevented. It has also lead to the prevention of unwanted pregnancies. Unintended pregnancies can be reduced as sex education will teach teenagers how to use contraceptives during their first sexual intercourse. Also, sex education creates empowerment against sexual violence. Sex education helps teenage awareness and prepares them for the world when they mature. It helps both boys and girls to rise whenever their sexual rights are violated in the society. (“Comprehensive Sex Ed: Understanding The Benefits And Barriers”) Comment by Windows User: Do you need a definite article here? Comment by Windows User: Past tense of lead is led.
This education has been faced with various factors. First is the opposition from the government. Many people believe that introducing sex education in primary and secondary school; it is the same as teaching sex in our schools. The belief is not true because sex is a broad term that defines who you are and the sex life as you grow. It will be wrong to associate education on sex as an act of sex. Moreover, we lack trained and skilled teachers in our institutions who can educate our kids on sex. (“Why Sexuality Education Is Important / Sexuality Education: A Guide For Principals, Boards Of Trustees, And Teachers / Policy Guidelines / Teaching In HPE / Home – Health & PE”) Comment by Windows User: If it stands for introducing sex education in primary and secondary school, why not just let introducing sex education in primary and secondary school be the subject of is the same Comment by Windows User: MLA avoids you/your and we/us/our for formality. I would rephrase here.
In conclusion, sex education is introduced in school and at an early age. The advantages of this education been introduced at an early age is evident. Self-awareness, prevention of unwanted pregnancies, and prevention of sex-related diseases are prevented due to sex education introduction at an early age. Women and men can openly talk about sex and educate others, which will not encourage sex among teenagers. Comment by Windows User: Do you mean being? Comment by Windows User: This seems like a strange way to end the paragraphI might swap this sentence with the sentence before it, or add another couple sentences.
Works cited Comment by Windows User: For a works cited page in MLA format:
-Capitalize Works Cited
-Align left
-Use hanging indentation of .5 inches.
“Aboutkidshealth.” Aboutkidshealth.Ca, 2020, https://www.aboutkidshealth.ca/Article?contentid=716&language=English.
“Comprehensive Sex Ed: Understanding The Benefits And Barriers.” Global Citizen, 2020, https://www.globalcitizen.org/en/content/sex-ed-barriers-and-benefits/.
“How To Talk To Kids About Sex: An Age-By-Age Guide.” Today’s Parent, 2020, https://www.todaysparent.com/family/parenting/age-by-age-guide-to-talking-to-kids-about-sex/.
“Talking To Primary School Children About Sex.” Betterhealth.Vic.Gov.Au, 2020,
“When To Start Sex Education? Are You Too Early? Or Late?”.Sex Ed Rescue, 2020, https://sexedrescue.com/when-to-start-sex-education/.
“Why Sexuality Education Is Important / Sexuality Education: A Guide For Principals, Boards Of Trustees, And Teachers / Policy Guidelines / Teaching In HPE / Home – Health & PE.” Health.Tki.Org.Nz, 2020, https://health.tki.org.nz/Teaching-in-HPE/Policy-guidelines/Sexuality-education-a-guide-for-principals-boards-of-trustees-and-teachers/Why-sexuality-education-is-important.
