CORRECTION PAPER
Need correction done to my paper ( comments are on the side). The first half is the updated copy of my paper with a grade.
Electric Vehicles 3
Electric Vehicles 4
Argumentative Research Essay
Jasmine Comment by Crystal: HI Jasmine! I am pleased to read and grade your Touchstone. However, the ECII Touchstone 4 is to be a revision of the Touchstone 3.2. It does not appear that you have done this but I will continue to read and grade accordingly.
Strayer University
ENG 215
Running Head: 1
Organ Buying 2
Li, W., Long, R., Chen, H., & Geng, J. (2017). A review of factors influencing consumer intentions to adopt battery electric vehicles.Renewable and Sustainable Energy Reviews,78, 318-328.
This source talks about the drivers of electric vehicle transition into the world. What are the main factors that drive this transition as fast as it is? I have therefore carefully chosen this specific item because I think it beneficial for this topic. What I have found here is very helpful unlike the past sources I used to site. One of the difficulties that I aced was to get the necessary information on the topic. It was difficult to go through this source and support my argument. Comment by Crystal Kuykendall: Punctuation error.
Summary
A battery-powered electric vehicle stands a chance in the current available electric car market. This summary will talk about the boom in electric vehicles (Song, Wei, et al) and later talk about the survival of internal combustion cars in the market if after all it can be sensed by anybody or it is the time for it to leave or do they still stand a chance? Some consumers might be interestedwhile others might not be interested. What could be the opinion on the side of the automakers? Is the shift caused by environmental issues or by performance matters? In this paper, everything will be well known. Comment by Crystal: It appears as though you misunderstood the T3.2 paper as well as the requirements for the T4 revision. You are to take a position and I do not see a position. This is not to be a research paper.
Introduction
It is very evident that there has been a big boom in the electric vehicle segment. Some are because of the wonderful developments (Wilberforce, T., El-Hassan, Z., Khatib, F. N., Al Makky, A., Baroutaji, A., Carton, J. G., & Olabi, A. G. (2017) in the recent past years trying to get rid of the dirty fossil-fuel cars; Song, Wei, et al) from the roads. It should be noted that not all that was being said in order to criticize internal combustion cars have been right, yes, some are been overreacted. Comment by Crystal Kuykendall: Citation needed. Comment by Crystal: Follow APA Guidelines for formatting of in-text-citations.
Shi, X., Pan, J., Wang, H., & Cai, H. (2019). Battery electric vehicles: What is the minimum range required?Energy,166, 352-358.
This source talks about the minimum range that is required by electric vehicles. What are the main factors that drive this transition at a faster rate? I have therefore carefully chosen this specific item because I think it beneficial for this topic. What I have found here is very helpful unlike the past sources I used to site. One of the difficulties that I aced was to get the necessary information on the topic. It was difficult to go through this source and support my argument that supports the use of battery-powered electric vehicles rather than fossil fueled cars. Comment by Crystal: Spelling error. Comment by Crystal: If this is your argument, it should be stated in the first paragraph.
Some of the reasons that have called for this argument are the complications normal automakers have been going through to reduce emissions savings. On an overall basis, there are clear emission savings which are indeed good news. The other thing that was being said about EVs is that they will reduce congestion in cities and therefore asresults reduce the traffic jams hence saving time and money in delay. But the reality of the matter is that this is not even true. It is not true to the fact that EV’s won’t assist in Jam reduction because there is basically no scientific fact about it. Sincemany people dont see EVs as being the best, they really have a bigger role to play in this world. A good example is a longer-range version that wasintroduced by Tesla. Comment by Crystal: Grammatically incorrect. Comment by Crystal: Citation needed.
Electric vehicles in particular could in the help to help reduce carbon emissions reduction by about 50%. On the other hand, the internal combustion engines that are driven by the dirty fossils fuel around have an arguable smaller range on a full tank basis but now they stand a chance for a faster refilling advantage. In a matter of about 3 minutes,and could easily fill his or her gas fuel tank without any further complication unless the electric vehicles which take a longer time for refueling.
Hardman, S., Chandan, A., Tal, G., & Turrentine, T. (2017). The effectiveness of financial purchase incentives for battery electric vehiclesA review of the evidence.Renewable and Sustainable Energy Reviews,80, 1100-1111.
This source talks about the finance issues that come with electric vehicles. What are the main factors that drive this transition at a faster rate? I have therefore carefully chosen this specific item because I think it beneficial for this topic. What I have found here is very helpful unlike the past sources I used to site. One of the difficulties that I aced was to get the necessary information on the topic. It was difficult to go through this source and support my argument. Comment by Crystal: Spelling error.
On the other hand, one would argue that even the electric vehicles are charged by a grid that might be even dirtier than petroleum and gas and that is coal power plants. All in all, this argument might seem right at first glance but the truth of the matter is that emissions are continually being reduced.
Now we can go to a deeper analysis of electric vehicle. The first question that is asked in any manufacturing process is the cost of ownership of a commodity in this particular case the car. What is the actual total cost of ownership? From my research modeling, I found that the battery of an electric vehicle will be considered using both cost per mile and KWh. In my research, I decided to take a closer comparison of a Nissan Leaf which is among the most commonly known electric vehicles available and the Ford Fiesta which is a fairly common car back here in the US. In its tests, the U.S. Environmental Protection Agency (EPA) determined in that the average Nissan Leaf consumed 19 kWh/100 km amounting to 0.68MJ/km while that of a Honda Civic is 2.5 MJ/km (Department. Of Energy, Energy Information Administration). Comment by Crystal Kuykendall: Unclear meaning.
I took them for a 20 miles drive which the Nissan Leaf consumed about 40KWh and for the Ford, the cost of t per mile of the car was about 5 times more expensive. This finding gave the electric car a clear leading line when it came to the performance and efficiency of energy usage. Another cost-benefit advantage of electric cars is that one can charge it at his home overnight for a cheaper rate than usual. Comment by Crystal: Unclear meaning.
Jacobson, A. (2010) looks at the carbon emissions by electric cars and compares them to those of petrol cars. Data from the Tesla Motors Company show a vehicle efficiency of 2.18 Mj-1 for its electric cars while it is 2.50 Mj-1 for fossil fuel cars. The CO2 emissions for gasoline cars was 1439*106 tons of CO2 while that of electric vehicles was607*106 tons of CO2. Thus, fossil fueled cars are more of a danger to the environment as compared to electric vehicles.
Hardman, S., Chandan, A., Tal, G., & Turrentine, T. (2017). The effectiveness of financial purchase incentives for battery electric vehiclesA review of the evidence.Renewable and Sustainable Energy Reviews,80, 1100-1111.
This source talks about the finance issues that come with electric vehicles. What are the main factors that drive this transition at a faster rate? I have therefore carefully chosen this specific item because I think it beneficial for this topic. What I have found here is very helpful unlike the past sources I used to site. One of the difficulties that I aced was to get the necessary information on the topic. It was difficult to go through this source and support my argument.
However, knowing this in mind, the true cost of buying an electric vehicleis considered to be 18% more sometimes this comes out even after government incentives being applied. The main cause of this is that the technology of mass-marketon an electric vehicle is relatively younger with fewer years of research and development in the career.
However, not too long the price of electric vehicles is going to decrease drastically due to the promising technological breakthrough that people are wishing to occur in the near future. When it comes to the cost of maintenance after owning the car. Electric vehicles they need less to no maintenance at all. I mean on engine fuels and lubricants this is because the powertrain simply the batteries and the motors, this makes the service to be a relatively straight forward one. Therefore, the actual cost of maintenance is estimated to be about 23% less than that of a normal internal combustion engine ca
When it comes to safety, this is a very critical thing since everyone wants to be in a safer place. This is the nature of humanity. The CEO of Tesla, Elon Musk once said that the autonomous driving option could be ten times safer than the normal human driver (The Washington Post, Faiz Siddiqui, 2020)). However, whether what he said is true remains debatable.
Freschi, F., Mitolo, M., & Tommasini, R. (2017, May). Electrical safety of electric vehicles. In2017 IEEE/IAS 53rd Industrial and Commercial Power Systems Technical Conference (I&CPS)(pp. 1-5). IEEE.
This source talks about the safety of electrical cars and all cars at a large. The information here is quite vast on safety issues. This is the reason why I chose it.
As they say, seeing is believing. Full autonomy is surely the future as people can see a lot of start-up companies venturing into that industry segment such as the big boys like Apple and Amazon are also in the race to the autonomous future.
The fact of the matter is that electric cars are more way safer than any other car available. On an overall basis, they do have fewer components therefore there is less wear and tear expected. When it comes to collision there is a very minimalistic possibility than an electric car will catch fire since there are no readily combustive fuels waiting to burn up. Since the battery pack which is housed by the drive trained are kept way down below, the electric cars have a very low center of gravity making it less likely to roll over often increasing the chances of surviving any crush.
However, EVs have a safety concern that could be very dangerous to living things that are o the move. This is the silent operation, according to a test that was conducted is that normal pedestrians are most likely not to hear EVs than a normal conventional vehicle. However, their concerned authorities that are trying to address this issue day in day out the most promising solution being the introduction ofsound speakers that would mimic the conventional car sound when moving. These options are available in some electric cars already such as the Chevy Volt.
Wilberforce, T., El-Hassan, Z., Khatib, F. N., Al Makky, A., Baroutaji, A., Carton, J. G., & Olabi, A. G. (2017). Developments of electric cars and fuel cell hydrogen electric cars.International Journal of Hydrogen Energy,42(40), 25695-25734.
This source give a summary of the argument of the benefit of summary cars both electric and conventional ones in terms of performance as well as other factors. I have therefore carefully chosen this specific item because I think it beneficial for this topic. What I have found here is very helpful unlike the past sources I used to site. One of the difficulties that I aced was to get the necessary information on the topic. It was difficult to go through this source and support my argument.
A good real file scenario is a person who wants to drive from Los Angeles to San Francisco which turns put to be a distance of about 400 miles. If one is driving a fuel-efficient car this will only take one fuel full tank with one making stops because of other reasons but mot fuel refilling.
In a nutshell, no matter what people say, this is the time for electric transitions. This is because it will reach a time where conventional cars will look very much outdated with their technology. This transition may arrive sooner than we think. This is because of their vast benefits more so to the environment, such as reduced carbon emissions. Some of the reasonsare the efficiency of electric vehicles over conventional cars.
The other fundamental reason that I had left behind purposely is the sole reason for energy independence. Since energy nowadays can be harvested from almost everywhere even from the comfort of our homes through solar and wind. One can charge this electric vehicle from his home without wondering about the cost and the fluctuation prices of oil and gas. Depending on where the consumer is, extremely high dependence on oil in the economy can make people more vulnerable to international disputes and also the collapse of the economy. My take is that the future of electric cars starts now.
1. How much time did you spend revising your draft? What revision strategies did you use and which worked best for you? (2-3 sentences)
I spent approximately two hours revising this work since I had to read the work to understand the need for revisions. The strategy I used was to read the document, understand the need for revision and then finding the correct information to fit in.
2. List three concrete revisions that you made and explain how you made them. What problem did you fix with each of these revisions? Issues may be unity, cohesion, rhetorical appeals, content, or any other areas on which you received constructive feedback. (4-5 sentences)
I added information to the parts requiring more information. In perspective, I included data on carbon emissions by fuel cars as compared to the data of carbon emissions by electric vehicles which is stronger evidence to support m argument.
Further, I made changes to my language. Poor grammar as well as unclear statements affected the information I am presenting since it is not clear to understand. For instance, saying will be affected largely is unspecific and thus there should be evidence presented to provide proof of the statement.
Further, I have linked evidence with the evidence to provide precise information. This link can be seen in the provision of evidence-based cases as well as research on the effects to the environment of both fuel driven and electric vehicles to show relevance to my argument.
3. What did you learn about your writing process or yourself as a writer? How has your understanding of the research process changed as a result of taking this course? (2-3 sentences)
Writing is sensitive and thus requires high level of research and information to provide relevant, detailed and correct information. Evidence must be provided in the text for information sources. The language used must also be clear and precise. A writer should endeavor to avoid ambiguity, and instead focus on being specific to points being made. The research process requires one to have critical thinking in establishing the information sources to use where, how and to what end.
References
An approach detailed by Jacobson, A. (2010). New directions: The electric car and carbon emissions in the US.Atmospheric environment,44, 733-734.
EIA, U. (2011). Annual energy review.Energy Information Administration, US Department of Energy: Washington, DC www. eia. doe. gov/emeu/aer, 80.
Song, Wei, et al. “Re-synthesis of nano-structured LiFePO4/graphene composite derived from spent lithium-ion battery for booming electric vehicle application.”Journal of Power Sources419 (2019): 192-202.
Wilberforce, T., El-Hassan, Z., Khatib, F. N., Al Makky, A., Baroutaji, A., Carton, J. G., & Olabi, A. G. (2017). Developments of electric cars and fuel cell hydrogen electric cars.International Journal of Hydrogen Energy,42(40), 25695-25734.
ADDITIONAL FEEDBACK USING THE RUBRIC:
REVISINGI commend you for your efforts to research this topic. However, you made the same mistakes that were made in the T3.2 paper. Most of the grammatical errors identified in the Touchstone 3.2 are still present. Specifically, you were advised that: You will need to write an essay which does not provide information on each source but which presents an argument that you will develop with research, reasoning and logic as well as rhetorical appeals. This was not done. Instead, you provided an Annotated Bibliography for a Research paper. You earned 0 of 40 points.
EDITINGThere is no evidence of editing or revising of the 3.2 Essay. You earned 0 of 40 points.
SOURCE INTEGRATION..You did introduce all of your sources in a constructive and effective manner. You earned 20 of 20 points.
COHESIONThe reader is able to follow the progression of your information. The sequencing and the transitions were good. There were still some poor word choices, unclear sentences, imprecise language and generalities which made the meaning of some sentences unclear. You earned 10 of 20 points.
CONVENTIONS and PROOFREADING…..As I indicated previously, the same errors that were in the 3.2 Touchstone are still prevalent in this one. Importantly, I detected additional errors which proofreading should have corrected. You earned 5 of 20 points.
REFLECTION.Your reflections were thoughtful but more examples and observations are needed. You earned 8 of 10 points.
FEEDBACKI greatly appreciate the time and effort you put into this revising this endeavor. The track comments and feedback are intended to help you pay closer attention to the quality of your arguments and grammatical errors. However, please RE-READ the requirements for both the 3.2 and the T4 Essays. I wish you much success in all other endeavors. GOOD LUCK!
OVERALL SCORE43/150
Annotated Bibliography (Touchstone 3.2)
Name Jasmine
Li, W., Long, R., Chen, H., & Geng, J. (2017). A review of factors influencing consumer intentions to adopt battery electric vehicles.Renewable and Sustainable Energy Reviews,78, 318-328.
This source talks about the drivers of electric vehicle transition into the world. What are the main factors that drive this transition as fast as it. I have therefore carefully chosen this specific item because I think it beneficial for this topic. What I have found here is very helpful unlike the past sources I used to site. On of the difficulties that I aced was to get the necessary information on the topic. It was difficult to go through this source and support my argument. Comment by Crystal Kuykendall: Punctuation error.
Summary
In this research paper, we are going to talk about the benefits of a battery-powered electric vehicle that they stand a chance in the electric car market that is currently available. It will talk about the perceived boom and maybe later talk about the survival of internal combustion cars in the market if after all it can be sensed by anybody or it is the time for it to leave or do they still stand a chance? Some consumers might be interested inwhy others might not be interested in. What could be the opinion on the side of the automakers? The shift is caused by environmental issues or caused by performance matters? In this paper, everything will be well known. Comment by Crystal Kuykendall: Remember Jasmine, this Touchstone is to develop an argument with highly relevant details to support it. Your position on this issue hs to be stated.
Introduction
It is very evident that there has been a big boom in the electric vehicle segment. Some are because of the wonderful developments in the recent past years trying to get rid of the dirty fossil-fuel cars from the roads. It should be noted that not all that was being said in order to criticize internal combustion cars have been right, yes, some are been overreacted. Comment by Crystal Kuykendall: Citation needed.
Shi, X., Pan, J., Wang, H., & Cai, H. (2019). Battery electric vehicles: What is the minimum range required?Energy,166, 352-358.
This source talks about the minimum range that is required by electric vehicles. What are the main factors that drive this transition at a faster rate. I have therefore carefully chosen this specific item because I think it beneficial for this topic. What I have found here is very helpful unlike the past sources I used to site. One of the difficulties that I aced was to get the necessary information on the topic. It was difficult to go through this source and support my argument. Comment by Crystal Kuykendall: Your argument has not been stated.
Some of the reasons that have championed for this move is the complication that normal automakers have been going through to reduce emissions savings. On an overall basis, there are clear emission savings which are indeed good news. The other thing that was being said about EVs is that they will reduce congestion in cities and therefore asresults reduce the traffic jams hence saving time and money in delay. But the reality of the matter is that this is not even true. It is not true to the fact that Ev’s won’t assist in Jam reduction because there is basically no scientific fact about it. Sincemany people dont see Evs as being the best, they really have a bigger role to play in this world. A good example is a longer-range version that wasintroduced by Tesla. Comment by Crystal Kuykendall: Imprecise language.
Electric vehicles in particular could in the help to help reduce carbon emissions reduction by about 50%. On the other hand, the internal combustion engines that are driven by the dirty fossils fuel around have an arguable smaller range on a full tank basis but now they stand a chance for a faster refilling advantage. In a matter of about 3 minutes,and could easily fill his or her gas fuel tank without any further complication unless the electric vehicles which take a longer time for refueling.
Hardman, S., Chandan, A., Tal, G., & Turrentine, T. (2017). The effectiveness of financial purchase incentives for battery electric vehiclesA review of the evidence.Renewable and Sustainable Energy Reviews,80, 1100-1111.
This source talks about the finance issues that come with electric vehicles. What are the main factors that drive this transition at a faster rate. I have therefore carefully chosen this specific item because I think it beneficial for this topic. What I have found here is very helpful unlike the past sources I used to site. One of the difficulties that I aced was to get the necessary information on the topic. It was difficult to go through this source and support my argument.
On the other hand, one would argue that even the electric vehicles are charged by a grid that might be even dirtier than petroleum and gas and that is coal power plants. All in all, this argument might seem right at first glance but the truth of the matter is that still emissions are being limited in a very large way. Comment by Crystal Kuykendall: Imprecise language.
Now we can go to a deeper analysis of electric vehicle, the first question that is asked in any manufacturing process is the cost of ownership of a commodity in this particular case the car. What is the actual total cost of ownership? From my research modeling, I Found that battery electric vehicle we look at the cost per mile per kilowattshour. In my research, I decided to take a closer comparison of a Nissan Leaf which is among the most commonly known electric vehicles available and the Ford Fiesta which is a fairly common car back here in the US. Comment by Crystal Kuykendall: Unclear meaning. Comment by Crystal Kuykendall: Firsthand experience always helps to prove your case but more research is needed to prove conclusions based on such a small sample size.
I took them for a 20 miles drive which the Nissan Leaf consumed about 40KWh and for the Ford, the cost of t per mile of the car was about 5 times more expensive. This finding gave the electric car a clear leading line when it came to the performance and efficiency of energy usage. Another cost-benefit advantage of electric cars is that one can charge it at his home overnight for a cheaper rate than usual.
Hardman, S., Chandan, A., Tal, G., & Turrentine, T. (2017). The effectiveness of financial purchase incentives for battery electric vehiclesA review of the evidence.Renewable and Sustainable Energy Reviews,80, 1100-1111.
This source talks about the finance issues that come with electric vehicles. What are the main factors that drive this transition at a faster rate. I have therefore carefully chosen this specific item because I think it beneficial for this topic. What I have found here is very helpful unlike the past sources I used to site. One of the difficulties that I aced was to get the necessary information on the topic. It was difficult to go through this source and support my argument.
However, knowing this in mind, the true cost of buying an electric vehicleis considered to be 18% more sometimes this comes out even after government incentives being applied. The main cause of this is that the technology of mass-marketon an electric vehicle is relatively younger with fewer years of research and development in the career.
However, not too long the price of electric vehicles is going to decrease drastically due to the promising technological breakthrough that people are wishing to occur in the near future. When it comes to the cost of maintenance after owning the car. Electric vehicles they need less to no maintenance at all. I mean on engine fuels and lubricants this is because the powertrain simply the batteries and the motors, this makes the service to be a relatively straight forward one. Therefore, the actual cost of maintenance is estimated to be about 23% less than that of a normal internal combustion engine ca
When it comes to safety, this is a very critical thing since everyone wants to be in a safer place. This is the nature of humanity. The CEO of Tesla, Elon Musk once said that the autonomous driving option could be ten times safer than the normal human driver. However, whether what he said is true this remains to Comment by Crystal Kuykendall: Citation needed.
Freschi, F., Mitolo, M., & Tommasini, R. (2017, May). Electrical safety of electric vehicles. In2017 IEEE/IAS 53rd Industrial and Commercial Power Systems Technical Conference (I&CPS)(pp. 1-5). IEEE.
This source talks about the safety of electrical cars and all cars at a large. the information here is quite vast on safety issues. This is the reason why I chose it.
be a fantasy until a level 5 autonomy is achieved other no one will believe this statement. As they say, seeing is believing. Full autonomy is surely the future as people can see a lot of start-up companies venturing into that industry segment such as the big boys like Apple and Amazon are also in the race to the autonomous future. Comment by Crystal Kuykendall: Unclear meaning.
The fact of the matter is that electric cars are more way safer than any other car available. On an overall basis, they do have fewer components therefore there is less wear and tear expected. When it comes to collision there is a very minimalistic possibility than ana electric car will catch fire since there are no readily combustive fuels waiting to burn up. Since the battery pack which is housed by the drive trained are kept way down below, the electric cars have a very low center of gravity making it less likely to roll over often increasing the chances of surviving any crush. Comment by Crystal Kuykendall: This appears to be your argument.
However, EVs have a safety concern that could be very dangerous to living things that are o the move. This is the silent operation, according to a test that was conducted is that normal pedestrians are most likely not to hear EVs than a normal conventional vehicle. However, their concerned authorities that are trying to address this issue day in day out the most promising solution being the introduction ofsound speakers that would mimic the conventional car sound when moving. These options are available in some electric cars already such as the Chevy Volt.
Wilberforce, T., El-Hassan, Z., Khatib, F. N., Al Makky, A., Baroutaji, A., Carton, J. G., & Olabi, A. G. (2017). Developments of electric cars and fuel cell hydrogen electric cars.International Journal of Hydrogen Energy,42(40), 25695-25734.
This source give a summary of the argument of the benefit of summary cars both electric and convetial in terms of performance and many other. I have therefore carefully chosen this specific item because I think it beneficial for this topic. What I have found here is very helpful unlike the past sources I used to site. One of the difficulties that I aced was to get the necessary information on the topic. It was difficult to go through this source and support my argument.
A good real file scenario is a person who wants to drive from Los Angeles to San Francisco which turns put to be a distance of about 400 miles. If one is driving a fuel-efficient car this will only take one fuel full tank with one making stops because of other reasons but mot fuel refilling.
In a nutshell, no matter what people say, this is the time for electric transitions. This is because it will reach a time where conventional cars will look very much outdated with their technology. This transition may arrive sooner than we think. This is because of the inevitable reasons. Some of the reasonsare the efficiency of electric vehicles over conventional cars. Comment by Crystal Kuykendall: More specificity is needed.
The other fundamental reason that I had left behind purposely is the sole reason for energy independence. Since energy nowadays can be harvest almost everywhere even from the conform of our homes through solar and wind. One can charge this electric vehicle from his home without wondering about the cost and the fluctuation prices of oil and gas. Depending on where the consumer is, extremely high dependence on oil in the economy can make people more vulnerable to international disputes and also the collapse of the economy. My take is that the future of electric cars starts now. Comment by Crystal Kuykendall: Subject-verb agreement error.
ADDITIONAL FEEDBACK USING THE RUBRIC:
ARGUMENT DEVELOPMENT AND SUPPORTI want to commend you for taking time to discuss such an important topic. However, your argument should have been stated in the first paragraph. The argument was stated in the next to last page. Therefore, the development of the argument was not as developed as it could have been. This is the 3.2 paper which will be revised for the Touchstone 4. You will need to write an essay which does not provide information on each source but which presents an argument that you will develop with research, reasoning and logic as well as rhetorical appeals. You earned 25 of 40 points.
RESEARCHYour References were good. However, this Touchstone is not to be a research paper where you discuss the validity of each source. Your research should support your argument and provide in-text-citations and documentation to support some unsubstantiated claims. Keep in mind that source citations are always needed in cases where you over-generalize. Your use of direct quotations will be helpful. You earned 20 of 30 points.
ORGANIZATION..You did not write an argumentative research essay so a complete revision in organization is necessary.. There was no introduction or conclusion. Your topic sentences were supported by information in your body paragraphs but there was no counterargument. You earned 0 of 15 points.
STYLEYour style was informative. However, some language was imprecise and there were no rhetorical appeals. Remember to use third person (sa opposed to first or second) when writing the Touchstone 4. Importantly, use variation in sentence structure and rhetorical appeals. You earned 3 of 5 points.
CONVENTIONS… There were too many errors in grammar, spelling and punctuation especially the use of question marks and commas. Ther
